


Five Times He Didn't Kiss Him (and One Time He Did)

by HannibalsAngel



Category: Captain America (Comics), Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types
Genre: Alcohol, Anal Sex, Awkward Crush, Bathing/Washing, Be Gentle With Me, Belligerent Sexual Tension, Best Friends, Bottom Steve Rogers, Canon Compliant, Captain America: The First Avenger, Childhood Friends, Confessions, Crushes, Cuddling & Snuggling, Denial, Denial of Feelings, Domestic, Domestic Fluff, Drunk Blow Jobs, Drunk Sex, Drunken Confessions, Drunken Kissing, Drunkenness, Explicit Sexual Content, First Time, First Time Blow Jobs, First Time Bottoming, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Gentle Kissing, How Do I Tag, Intoxication, Kissing, Love Confessions, M/M, Morning Cuddles, Mutual Pining, N Things, Neck Kissing, Not Suitable/Safe For Work, Oral Sex, Orgasm, Pining, Platonic Cuddling, Porn With Plot, Pre-Captain America: The First Avenger, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, Pre-War, Relationship(s), Resolved Sexual Tension, Romantic Fluff, Romantic Friendship, Romantic Soulmates, Roommates, Rough Kissing, Sex, Sexual Content, Sexual Tension, Simultaneous Orgasm, Soulmates, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Top Bucky Barnes, Unresolved Emotional Tension, Unresolved Romantic Tension, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Unresolved Tension, i cant think of anything else, ill end up updating tags, my first fic in almost two years, oof
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-09
Updated: 2020-09-09
Packaged: 2021-03-06 14:10:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,176
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26380117
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HannibalsAngel/pseuds/HannibalsAngel
Summary: Steve and Bucky share an apartment and a bed. This whole time, everything was fine up until Steve (and Bucky) started to ~feel~ things they've never felt before and jump through mental loops to avoid what they're feeling. Then, there ended up being five times either of them wanted to kiss the other and didn't for whatever reason, until finally they did. Pre-ca:tfa with a lil part being right in the middle but not post ca:tfa. I fucking love pre-ca:tfa stucky.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes & Steve Rogers, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers
Comments: 3
Kudos: 36





	Five Times He Didn't Kiss Him (and One Time He Did)

**Author's Note:**

> Treat me nice lmao I havent written anything in ages this is my first fic in a long time. Man, I missed writing fanfic

Steve woke up from the breeze coming through the window. His eyes slowly opened; he was on his stomach and felt the rough fabric of the curtain on his shoulders. Next to him was Bucky, who’s back faced him.  
Both Bucky and Steve were in tanks and pajama pants, but the blanket was well below their waists. They had been sharing a bed since they were kids. Bucky’s mom would let them sleep in his bed, as long as the two remained clothed and apart. So when Steve moved in, it wasn’t awkward for them to share. It was economical, too.  
Steve watched as Bucky’s body slowly rose and fell, the sound of his calm breaths fighting the noise outside. He didn’t like him like that, but he did enjoy watching Bucky do the most mundane of tasks. It made him fill up with a sense of warmth that no one else has yet to make him feel.  
Steve typically woke up before Bucky, especially on their days off. Bucky liked to sleep off his work stress, but Steve usually got up early and to get his day started. But today, he felt like waiting for Bucky to wake up.  
Not too long after, Bucky began to move. His defined shoulders moved as he tried to sit up and rub the sleep away from his eyes. Steve closed his eyes and pretended to wake up with him - “mmm, what time is it,” he asked him sleepily.  
Bucky smiled and lightly patted Steve’s hip, “it’s time to get up.”  
Steve groaned and covered his face with a pillow, “I don't wanna get up.”  
“C’mon Stevie, we gotta get to Coney before the rest of New York wakes up. Beat the lines.”  
Steve removed the pillow. Bucky was now lying on his side, propped up by his elbow, looking at him with a raised brow. He couldn’t help but to smile. “Fine,” he threw the pillow at Bucky, “but I don’t wanna go back on the Cyclone I already been on it once.”  
Bucky tilted his head and gave him a mischievous smirk, “fine, but we have to go on the Wonder Wheel.”  
“Ugh -“  
“It’ll be fun! They have those carts on a track in the middle -“  
“I don’t wanna go on those.”  
“Then we’ll go on the swinging carts -“  
“No.”  
“But Steve,” Bucky whined as he shook Steve’s body, “the others don’t move and it’s not fun.”  
Steve’s voice shook with his body, “I’m telling you no so I don’t throw up on you.”  
Bucky rolled his eyes and got out of bed. Steve always liked the way Bucky’s body was built. He had these beautiful, masculine curves that made every shirt look a bit fitted. He had never held Bucky’s hips but god he wished he did, but in an admiring way. He had noticed that all of Bucky’s girls draped their arms around his waist, and he had always wondered what that felt like. He imagined it felt just as good for Bucky as it would for him. He’s got the perfect hugging body.  
Steve sat up and shuffled behind. Their apartment wasn’t very big. In fact, it didn’t even have a bedroom. The bed was behind the couch in the living room, against the wall with the window. There wasn’t much furniture either, but to be fair, they didn’t have many guests to seat. Their coffee table was found outside a suburban home well into Queens, so it had a few stains and the wood was a bit rotted from the rain, but they had sanded down whatever rot they could and repainted it. Under the couch and table was a rug that Bucky said was there when he moved in.  
Around the corner on the left was the front door and the kitchen, which was quite spacious, given the size of the apartment. The window held a plant and these god awful yellow curtains. A table was pushed up against the wall and had two chairs. Bucky turned on the radio to listen to last night’s show. The staticky sound of a man with a cartoon-y voice provided the perfect background noise for Bucky to discuss his dream.  
“So I was at the pier, right, and it was me and the guys. We were working when this old guy came up to us and told us to stop what we were doing because he had something for us, and we said ‘no, we’re working’. But then,” he turned on the stove, “he held a pocket watch in his hand, and he told us to take it.” Steve watched in amusement and Bucky’s hands waved and his face scrunched up in confusion. His movements were so fluid for someone who just woke up, but then he caught himself not paying attention.  
“I’ve never even held something like that before so I’m not sure why in the dream I felt the weight, or at least what I think it would weigh,” he put a hand to his hip and one to his face. His eyes looked at Steve for a second before continuing, “anyway, so then I was holding the watch, but he didn’t tell me to give it to anyone or even what to do with it; he just gave it to me, as if I’m supposed to know what to do with it.”  
“So what happened next?”  
Bucky put a pan on the stove and grabbed the eggs from the fridge. When the door opened his face scrunched up in disgust, “oh geez, what the hell died in there.” He peeked in the fridge and found the culprit - old cheese. He grabbed a rag from the counter, pulled it off the shelf and tossed it out the window.  
“Bucky!”  
“It’s fertilizer for the plants!”  
“No it’s gonna make the block stink!”  
Bucky scoffed, “I’d rather it out there than in here.” He and Steve looked at each other, “but anyway, I then was just standing in Forest Park, or something like it I guess,” he shrugged. “It was all wooded and stuff, like a forest or something,” he motioned with his hand at Steve, who just nodded. “I dunno, it was weird.”  
“Maybe we can go see the witch when we get there,” Steve joked, “interpret your dreams.”  
“We only have enough money for a ride and maybe a game. We can see her next time.” Bucky winked and it made Steve his chest feel hollow, almost like when you’re about to fall.  
They ended up eating breakfast in silence, as they usually did. They both liked the radio show, but they could never seem to listen to it when it airs the first time, so they would listen to it during breakfast. When they finished eating, Bucky took their plates to the sink and rinsed them - “I need a bath, do you?”  
That question suddenly made Steve’s stomach twist. There’s never enough hot water for two baths, no matter how short, so they decided ages ago that they’ll bathe together, but only sometimes. Steve desperately needed to, and if he wanted, can take one tomorrow, or just heat up what seemed to be a million cups of water to fill the tub.  
He was always fine bathing with Bucky. They did everything together as kids, so it was a seamless transition into adulthood, but more recently he’s been feeling weird about the whole ordeal. He felt heavy in his stomach when Bucky did certain things, like flirt with the girls, walk around shirtless, and the idea of bathing had made him feel like throwing up.  
“Yeah I need one too.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Bucky sat on the cold tile as he watched the tub fill up with hot water. The bathroom was cramped, and hardly fit the both of them, so Steve stood by the door. He studied Bucky’s body, which was dramatically draped over the side of the tub. He looked like something out of a painting. His arms ended at the edge of the tub, and he could imagine Bucky’s fingers swirling around the rising water. His cheek lied against his arm, which bent towards him. It must’ve fell asleep, because he eventually got up.  
After a few moments of nothing but running water filling the silence, Bucky turned the faucet off, “alright, we gotta make this quick.” Immediately he pulled his shirt off and tossed it to the corner. Steve’s face got hot as Bucky, so effortlessly and so casually began taking his pants off. He had seen Bucky in the nude a few times, all were accidental, of course. But it’s still Bucky, and his... body.  
Bucky threw his pants at Steve, which made him jump, “if you keep staring at me I’m gonna have to start thinking you like me.”  
Steve’s face went through every single emotion conceivable, “I wasn’t staring at you Bucky, I was staring at the wall.”  
“Yeah? You tend to do that a lot when I’m half naked.”  
Steve, mocking Bucky’s laugh, began stripping himself. Bucky had turned his back to him as he took his underwear off. Steve could only see a glimpse of Bucky’s dick, but it was enough to have his heart pound against his chest. He finished getting undressed, and eased himself into the tub. Bucky wasn’t facing him, which was good. He didn’t want Bucky to see him, red faced and nervous.  
Without facing each other, they took their wash cloths and began cleaning themselves. Bucky heard Steve struggle behind him, “you need help over there?”  
Steve scoffed, “not really, just washing my back.” He said under his breath, “or at least trying to.”  
Bucky laughed and Steve felt him turn to face him. “Here lemme help you,” Bucky took Steve’s wash cloth and began to soap him up. Bucky’s gut twisted. He looked at the back of Steve’s neck with an intense sense of craving. As he wiped the wash cloth passed his neck and over his shoulder, he felt himself lean forward, almost as if he were going to kiss him. Stopping himself from doing so felt like holding hot iron, and Steve was clueless, he thought.  
Getting out of the tub was a breeze; neither said a word. It wasn’t like this was strange to them - they’ve bathed together before. Bucky has washed Steve’s back before, even his hair. Hell, Bucky seen all of Steve at some point; he gave him a cold bath to try and bring his fever down that one Spring, and lost his chance at a hot shower when he gave it to Steve during the Winter - the one where Steve said the air felt like it was cutting him with a dull knife. This wasn’t anything new, this is what they do. It’s what they’ve always done. This is what friends do.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The summer air was dense and still until they reached the Island. The heat from the train made the whole experience worse, but feeling the salty wind try to combat the burning sun felt amazing.  
“So Stevie,” Bucky said while jumping off the curb to cross the street, “what shall we do first? We can do the Cyclone -“  
“Bucky...” Steve said with a shove, “only the Wonder Wheel, I’m tired of getting sick.”  
Bucky laughed and pulled him in close. He draped his arm around Steve’s shoulder and walked attached until they reached the boardwalk, where a confused stare made them pull apart awkwardly. Steve didn't mind how affectionate Bucky could be; it’s in his genes.  
Bucky grew up in a stern but affectionate home. He was ‘allowed’ to hug Steve, play-fight him, and they even slept in the same bed, but sometimes his parents made them separate if they’d notice he was being too affectionate. Steve never had a problem with it though. When it came to Bucky, there was no such thing as ‘too affectionate’. As a matter of fact, he loved it.  
Bucky dug out the money from his pocket, “alrighty, we can go on the Wonder Wheel, and then probably play a game, or eat, whatever you wanna do.”  
“Have you tried Nathan’s hot dogs before?”  
Bucky smiled and rolled his eyes, “no, because they’re expensive.”  
“Well,” Steve looked over at the Nathan’s sign, “we could finally get to try it.”  
“That would mean we can’t go on the Wonder Wheel.”  
Steve pulled out his money from his pocket, “no I think we’ll be fine.”  
“Steve that's our train money.”  
“Oh come on, Buck.” He looked at him with big eyes and a playful smile, “I thought we were gonna spend a lil more than usual.”  
“We are. That hot dog means we’re gonna have to hitch a ride, or worse - walk.”  
They laughed and Steve pushed him lightly, “I think it’ll be worth it.”  
Bucky looked at Steve with a dorky grin. Steve had that thing about him where he could convince him to do just about anything. Unsure if it was the icy blue eyes that squinted in the sun, or the flush lips that pulled into a cheery smile, y’know, the kind that lights up a room. Maybe it was how Steve would push his hair back even though it wasn’t in his face just to get a chance to linger at Bucky without it being weird.  
Bucky sighed, “we’ll see.”

Bucky let Steve on first. They’ve decided that the nonmoving carts were the overall feel of the day. Steve’s chest pounded so hard he thought Bucky would hear it. Bucky squished himself into Steve’s body and they both smiled; “its gonna be fine, Steve.”  
“I'm not afraid of the ride I’m afraid of getting sick.”  
The ride began, and it seemed as though Bucky waited until they were out of sight to wrap his arm around Steve’s shoulder. They both just looked at each other.  
Steve felt the urge to hang his hand off Bucky’s; just hold on to his fingers and just let his hand hang.  
Bucky’s aftershave, he felt, was all over him, like an aura, and Steve was wrapped in the gentle mist of mint, herbs, and rubbing alcohol. Steve had bought a bottle for him for Christmas, and he hadn’t realized how great it smelled until now. He wondered if ladies liked Bucky’s strange but compelling smell, because he certainly did. He wondered if you can taste the bitterness on his neck if you kissed him.  
Bucky looked out towards the sea as they got higher and higher. For a moment he remembered when he took a date on the Wonder Wheel. She was soft and wide eyed, couldn’t remember her name though. He did remember that she smelled like rose water and her hair was soft and light. He kissed her when they reached the top and although exciting, there was something missing and he never knew what it was. Like an underwhelming dessert.  
He smiled to himself and looked toward Steve, who seemed to be too lost in thought to realize they were near the top. “How you doing?”  
Steve snapped out of his trance, “huh? Good I guess -“  
“Yeah? Good, because we’re almost at the top.”  
“Doesn’t seem so bad.”  
Bucky chuckled, “told you.”  
Steve, without a second to let silence linger, “is this where you kissed Barbara?”  
Bucky’s mouth opened and Steve winced. _God I’m such an idiot_. After a few moments that seemed to last a lifetime, Bucky laughed and pulled his arm from behind Steve. Steve’s skin could probably melt iron with how hot it was. Hell, he probably looked like hot iron with how red he was.  
“I mean,” he tried to explain, “its just - Barbara was cute, and - I dunno what I’m -“ he looked up at Bucky who was just staring back, smiling wide. He spoke softly and quietly, “I dunno what I’m talking about,” with his eyes still locked on Bucky’s.  
“Why do you wanna know?” Bucky spoke with a type of child-like mischief. He almost sounded like he was taunting but also serious at the same time, which made Steve’s stomach feel like its melting inside him.  
“I, uh,” Steve continued to look in those blue sea-foamy eyes of his. They felt heavy. “It’s not my business I’m not sure why I asked.”  
The wheel stopped them at the top. Bucky’s smile slowly started to leave and Steve felt like throwing up. Is this how he looks at his dates? Because if so, damn.  
Bucky’s hand crept up the side of Steve’s arm. “I'll show you what I do Stevie.” His hand drove up Steve’s shoulder, across his back, and stopped on his opposite shoulder. He gently pulled them both together and Bucky pushed Steve’s hair from the side of his face. It wasn’t in the way of anything, but he was just demonstrating how he treated his dates. For educational purposes. Just in case Steve needed some game.  
Bucky sat back, his legs spread wider and he leaned closer to Steve’s face. “They would usually put their hand on my thigh,” he whispered softly, “Barbara did.”  
_Ah fuckfuckfuck fuck_. Steve felt as though he was trembling. He felt Bucky’s breath glide over his neck and chest and he tried desperately to not imagine how his breath would feel if Bucky was on top on him. How would it feel if his breath was shaky and he was tired and sweaty? He could literally see it. He was in pain; his chest and stomach was filled with lava and be swore he could pass out. He felt lightheaded and nauseous. He was dying to feel Bucky’s thigh; he took care of himself and worked a physically taxing job at the piers, it would be strong and stiff, _grab-able_ , he thought. He didn’t though. Although he should've.  
“And, typically, they fall into me. But Barbara was different,” he pulled a smirk, “she wasn’t the following type. She wanted to lead, which is fine, but I don’t follow.”  
Something about that last sentence made Steve feel a thousand times worse. It was something borderline primal, so... different. Something he hadn’t even thought Bucky was capable of. He figured he liked his women not-so-delicate when it came to intimacy, but not in this way. He was controlling and probably rough, and he wanted women who could handle it, and probably even challenge it.  
“So I took her chin in my hand,” while doing the same to Steve. Somehow they were still at the top. “And she made me move towards her like this.” He slowly moved his face closer to Steve’s. The way Steve anticipated something he probably didn’t want was almost sin. He wanted to lean into Bucky, but it was a demonstration and he should follow. This is what this was.  
Bucky put his forehead against Steve’s. His breath was sure and solid. It probably was when he does this with his girls.

“And she made me kiss her.” The ride jerked and Bucky laughed. He pulled away and sat up, his arm still around Steve. “Could you believe that?”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! I dont have a set schedule to post (nor did I ever) so idk when the next part is happening. Hopefully this work should actually be completed. And if you read the College Series and are wondering when I'm going to update... I wont. Sorry.


End file.
